Beer Soap with Attitude
Welcome to The Vice Soap blog where we are gonna write about whatever our little black hearts desire!
We know that not everybody is going to enjoy us in the shower... that's ok... it's cuz they haven't heard about us yet... or maybe its cuz they're as uptight and stiff as the Pope in Vegas...
... and yes... we meant that in several different ways...
Designer Beer Soap
It took 6 drunken months to perfect the formula for Vice Soap
The process was dangerous and invigorating... like watching your little brother put a key in an electrical outlet... like shaving Dwayne Johnson 's more famous eyebrow... like diffusing a bomb with a hardon... like picking your nose with a dislocated finger... . But the result was the most complex and testosterone drenched man specific piece of badassery since Moby Dick's innards had their way with Captain Ahab's leg.
We'll Put a Smile on Your Face Baby
Making badass beer soap is serious business! This isn't open heart surgery motherfucker... people could die doing this shit! Home improvement... bitch puuleeesee! Dead lift ing... OMG! don't make us choke you out! But... we make soap for men who do!
THEEEEEEEEE BEST BEER SOAP
We do it how they wish they could
Versatile... fuck ya!
One puck of Vice Soap has many uses... Lather it into your hair... on your back and your head... as beard shampoo to give your beard love. If you are one of those little kindergarten girls who shave their faces... you can use it for that too. This is hand made body soap to protect your delicate hide and keep it from drying out. The BEST handcrafted hand soap you will ever use for all the little parts you can't quite reach anymore with those McDonald's straw little girl fingers.
Just don't blame us when you run out of hot water and your inbred animal children have none left for their once a month pressure washing after you finish cleaning your 4x4!
If You are Still Reading...
... you are our favorite kind of customer... an easily offended, whiny, hairless, nasally voiced pretentious little bitch of a man and you deserve all the abuse we dish out... now get out your credit card cuz you look good in those skinny jeans Cupcake!
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