Cuz terrorists get all the bitches
You're obviously asking this question because you have all the life experience and chance taking tolerance of a breast feeding grade 2 boy.
Lemme bring you up to speed Pumpkin.
The Secret...
You gotta trim a little at a time... for a few days in a row ... unless you have one of those tiny little pretty boy beards... ya know which ones I'm talking about... the one where the "guy" wearing it has to try just a bit too hard to prove he has a set... in which case we can't call it a beard... and you should just shave it the fuck off cuz you look like a douche!
I'm just watching one walk by now... shiny bald head... like he had someone power wax it, gold rimmed sunglasses, oversize gold chains... cuz you're obviously a baller, black athletic shorts and sneakers... you go girlfriend!
Time to break new ground.
Here's what you do... and keeping in mind the old adage... less is more.
Day One
Look in the mirror and make sure it is kinda in place. Use electric clippers to rough shape it with whatever style you are trying to achieve... BEFORE you get in the shower so you don't have those annoying little cut hairs all over you that look like your mom just sat her fat ass down on your chest and shaved her legs with her Lady Husqvarna.
How do you rough shape it? It depends on the style you are going for. Generally any style that makes you look like you are about to burn a flag and behead someone is NOT the look you should be going for.
Remember... less is more. You only want to take a little off today... just to get a general shape that you like. I have talked to sooooooooo many guys who get waaaaaay too worked up about that time they made a mistake... and I don't mean kissing their sister.
Now in all fairness... I have a big ass man beard. If I trim a little too close... no bid deal. I have so much beard that I'm the only one that's going to notice. And after I get out of the shower and comb through it... I can't even tell where I fucked up.
What's the worst that's gonna happen? It's hair... it'll grow back. That's why I keep saying "less is more". This is practice for later in life. You have to get used to shaping it. It's not a nuclear bomb and it's not a baby. You can screw it up a bit and it's not gonna matter.
Practice making the sides straight, practice rounding the sides into the bottom, practice trimming the area around your mouth, practice cutting stragglers, practice getting the area below your ear and keeping your sideburns short to seamlessly blend into your beard.. While you're at it... trim your nose and ear hair.
Grow That Shit out and Get a Few Scars Mutherfucker.
Day Two
Again... before you get in the shower, and while you're in front of the mirror wondering why you have your mothers hips, pull out your electric hair trimmer and shape it. Same as yesterday only not taking off quite as much... because much like the moons around Uranus... there are always unexpected stragglers.
The goal is to make it a bit more like the shape you so desire. There should be less to cut and less to shape. While you might have taken off quite a bit yesterday, you probably don't have to take as much today. Again, hit the sides, the bottom, your sideburns, mouth, below your ear, etc.
Day Three
Your job today... besides not annoying us with your whining... is to do any final touch ups... again, touching it up before you get in the shower. Same process... less is more. Sides, bottom, sideburns, mouth, ear... you get the idea.
Note
If you are trying to grow your beard out.. to make it longer... DON'T KEEP TRIMMING THE BOTTOM!
Shape it a little at a time so mistakes are gonna be small and not noticeable... but after the 3 day trimathon... give it a couple weeks to grow more. Your beard may grow as much as a half inch per month. If your beard is straight, you will notice it quicker than someone who's beard is curly or wavy. so while it is doing what it does... let it do what it does.
Good luck!
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